Are you upset with me?
You love me sometimes,
Hate me the next?
Do you feel that I don't love you?
Do you feel that the world doesn't love you?
Mother didn't love you?
Your father left you?
Two most important people in the world,
The ones who brought us into this world.
Doesn't want you in this world?
Can't deal with that?
Can't fight this fight?
Em, you can't go on hurting like how you were hurt,
Or your life will just turn into dirt.
Dirt, no one wants to play,
Muddy, dark, and gray.
You're more than this, you are worth someone's time.
God loves you, he saved you every time.
Each time, you took a pill.
Each time, you drank to get ill.
The time, you laid out in the street.
Starving for love, someone to nourish me.
But if you don't love me, who will love me?
Dubois is you, and emmy is me.
Your heart is gold. Your soul is pure.
I know you feel beatin down, my the evils of the world.
Your rape. Your abuse.
Remember when you faced your attacker?
When he looked at your face with laughter.
That hurting you was fun and games.
Instead of a lifetime of hurt and pain.
But will you be just like him? Or your mom, who can hurt with a grin?
Will you hurt like how others hurt you?
Will you be any different? Are you the next fool?
A fool who pretends that everything is ok?
That you're not hurt, that you're ok?
Walking blind into your own demise?
Refusing to open your eyes?
You are NOT your hurts. They are not Dubois.
Nor are they emmy, Not Emmy Dubois!
Hold up your head, hold it and say,
"That today will be the day, it ends today"!
Today, I will bury the hurt and the guilt.
The failures, pain, hatred, and the self guilt.
The self rejection, the self harm,
The pill taking and suicidal thoughts.
Dear Dubois,
Pain was my reality. It took my sanity.
Dark was my light. Day was my night.
I walked solow ,empty all the time.
Fighting this fight, with all of my might.
I can't do this alone. I want to love, not be alone.
I don't want to hurt. Nor live in shame,
There's no one else, no one else to blame.
Just me, it's me. I'm being too hard.
What about the good things, all that I've done?
The unstoppable em, the unbeatable woman?
The one that used to sit and dream about the world.
The one who discovered new things,
Who love life.
The world was her playground, with so much to explore,
A new adventure awaits, just outside the door.
Why let this pain steal that away?
Why die an early age?
When I have someone that loves me so much?
It's you Dubois! It's you that I love!
Oh Dubois, where have I been?
Living yet dying, living in sin.
Breathing yet stealing the life away from myself.
I want to breathe. I want to live.
Not in fear, not in sin.
The world scares me, because I don't want to be raped again.
I don't want to be robbed of my life again.
I spend two years grieving my lost,
The lost of my innocent and everything i was.
Dear emmy,
Then you must forgive, my dear em, forgive what he has done.
Forgive the one that bear you your son.
Forgive the woman that hit you all the time.
Forgive so you can let it go.
They will be evil, don't be their shadow!
Don't be the person that you hate,
Forgive them so you can join your saint.
Your Saint! Your Saint! You birthed him.
He who is here, so worship him.
For he reminds you what life is all about,
For he shows you what real love looks like.
Sweet, kind and smile at hand.
He hugs you even when you grin.
Be his hero! Live a unselfish life.
Don't do it, don't give up your fight!
The fight, of loving you. The way you are.
For you ARE good enough. You are the star.
Dear Dubois,
I love you. Thank you.
Dear em - I know, I love you too.
No comments:
Post a Comment